1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,880
This organisation
is not financially viable.

2
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,440
(ROBOTIC VOICE) How much does
that cost? I'm a corporate robot.

3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,560
Is that my suit?!

4
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,800
Did you get the email I sent you
about the Pulse54 program?

5
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,160
RYAN: This Scott guy, you know,
he's like a cult leader, basically.

6
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,600
He's not a cult leader.
He's a gymfluencer.

7
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,240
Mum reckons
she's getting a big star.

8
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,240
It's Caitlen Allard.

9
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,280
What?!
Can you believe that?!

10
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,600
(HISSES) Caitlen is her sister!

11
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,760
(TEARFULLY) You know, I could have
sold out to Hollywood.

12
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,600
They don't get along very well.
(LAUGHS) Even better!

13
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,600
Let's get her in here.

14
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,640
(SCREAMS) FU....!

15
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,960
(SIGHS) So what you want to do
is imagine that the voice

16
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,160
is flowing from the top of the body,

17
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,640
down and then out through the anus.

18
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,680
(LAUGHS) What?

19
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,560
This is a legitimate
voice and body exercise, alright?

20
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,240
Can you take it seriously, please?
Sorry.

21
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:41,240
OK.

22
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,640
And then it's as if
the voice is paint

23
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,640
and you are painting
the back wall with your anus.

24
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,360
(INHALES DEEPLY) Oh!

25
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,720
Can you feel it in your sex?

26
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,040
Ooh, I love a pain au chocolat.

27
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,000
It reminds me of the time Papa took
me to Paris, right, and we were...

28
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Morning!

29
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,320
I'll tell you
the rest of that later, OK?

30
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,360
Come find me.

31
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,760
OK, everyone got the agenda?
Mm-hm.

32
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,000
Then we'll get started.

33
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,400
I have crunched the numbers
and decided to move the peasant show

34
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,640
into the smaller theatre.

35
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,520
What? Do you mean
Le Payson A Moitie Enterre?

36
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,240
Oui. Yeah.
You've only sold 15% of tickets.

37
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,880
But people just buy them
on the night.

38
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,240
Yeah, it's not the '90s.

39
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,720
Last time you felt anything.

40
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,560
OK, can we just keep the personal
stuff out of it, just for once?

41
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,520
So what are you going to put on
in the big theatre instead?

42
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,200
Oh, let me guess.
Caitlen's Off-Broadway show.

43
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,440
Oh, someone's been talking.

44
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,520
Give him a couple of white wines,
he'll sing like a canary.

45
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,000
No. That's not true.

46
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,560
Your sister Caitlen
has 2 million online followers.

47
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,200
That is how you shift tickets.

48
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,920
But you don't have her yet,
do you?

49
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,120
Of course she doesn't.

50
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,560
Hm, I'm following a few leads.

51
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,840
I mean, do you ever talk to her?

52
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,480
I mean, obviously,
I've got her personal number,

53
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,800
but I'm not going to give you that.

54
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,840
Do you have it, though?

55
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,360
Yes, of course I've got it.

56
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,640
We talk all the time.

57
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,480
We were talking yesterday,
remember, about, um...

58
00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,480
Sure. Yeah.

59
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,160
..that...some character notes
for a play...film

60
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,160
that she's doing in...
Slovakia, weirdly.

61
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,400
Mm.
Yeah?

62
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,880
Yeah.
Mm.

63
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:09,920
Wow.

64
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:11,760
No. Well, OK,
why don't we just call her?

65
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,080
Let's call her!
Sure.

66
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,200
Yeah.
Margie, you don't have to.

67
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,000
No, no. Call her, call her, call her.
You don't have to.

68
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000
She loves to hear from me.

69
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,320
Call her.
Please don't.

70
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,600
Hey, Caitlen. It's Margs.

71
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,520
Um, hey, I was thinking about
that second scene.

72
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,120
What's his love language there?

73
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,880
Because that might help you
to sort of, like, get into the...

74
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,280
(PHONE RINGS)

75
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,640
Oh, sorry, Caitlen,
I've got call waiting.

76
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,040
Just a moment.

77
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,560
Margie Argyle, Argyle Theatre.

78
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,360
Hi, Margie. It's Julia.

79
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,720
Hi, Jul...
Julia, why are you calling me

80
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,080
while I'm on the phone to Caitlen?

81
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,040
'Cause I don't think
you're on the phone to Caitlen.

82
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,280
Yes, I am.

83
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,120
Um, so, Caitlen...
Still me.

84
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,520
..Slovakia. Is that...

85
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,040
Is that hot at this time?
Let me take that.

86
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,200
Get off the phone.
Bye, Caitlen. Bye! Bye!

87
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,600
She's gone.

88
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,120
So...

89
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,880
That was uncomfortable, wasn't it?

90
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,920
Mm.

91
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,160
How is Caitlen?

92
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,120
Ryan, you're young. How do I get
online followers like this?

93
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,320
Like, look at Caitlen.

94
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,240
Content.
Like what?

95
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,280
Anything.
Songs, stories, photos, videos.

96
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,360
Yeah.

97
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,680
I mean, look at this.

98
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,160
(SINGING)
Whoa.

99
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,480
Caitlen can sing.
Yeah.

100
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,240
And look at that - 30,000 likes.

101
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,320
Yeah. I can sing.

102
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,160
I think it was always hard
for Caitlen growing up

103
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,640
because we were both
triple threats.

104
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,280
But then I had the looks as well,

105
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,920
so I was like a quadruple threat.

106
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,280
You know what I mean?

107
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,240
Yeah.

108
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,440
Mm. It must have been
really rough for her.

109
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,400
Yeah.
Yeah.

110
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:45,160
Pulse54, what's happening today?

111
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,240
Oh, someone's online.

112
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,520
I do it?

113
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,960
Just do it. Just do it.

114
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,200
(RINGS)

115
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,600
Oh. Shit.

116
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,280
Hi. This is Scott from Pulse54.

117
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,080
Oh, uh, hi, Scott.

118
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,200
It's Julia McNamara from your gym.

119
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,720
Oh, Julia. Hello.

120
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,520
Yeah, you're one of
my top ten clients.

121
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:11,200
Wow. Top ten. OK, well,
you're in my number one of trainers.

122
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,200
Sorry, I have to go. I'll call you...
call you back, Scott. Bye.

123
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,960
Do you have the Wi-Fi password?

124
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,520
Uh...Shakespeare88.

125
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,520
Ah, thanks.

126
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,880
Excuse me. Who are you?

127
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,120
Julian Assange.

128
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,280
Coming to morning warm-up, J-Mac?

129
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,400
(SIGHS) Uh, yes, OK.

130
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,680
But...my anus is staying shut.

131
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,160
Uh...yeah. Absolutely.
Mm.

132
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,240
You know, your body, your rules.

133
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,160
MARGIE: Alright, we are finally here.

134
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,280
The Assange Story opens this week.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

135
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,640
I know!

136
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,680
Yes, it's a powerful one-man play

137
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,920
about exposing the truth
at all costs.

138
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,320
Sorry,
didn't Julian Assange break the law?

139
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,320
Um, some laws are meant to be broken.

140
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,360
Here we go. Lefties
preaching to lefties yet again.

141
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,760
Oh, my gosh, Mum. So embarrassing.

142
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,320
Gary's going to be in the building
until we open,

143
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,400
and he just wants to say a few
words about his process.

144
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,680
Thank you, Gary.

145
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,280
I will be going full method
for this role.

146
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,880
OK? So I'd appreciate
if you would call me Julian Assange.

147
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,920
Or Mendax, for the trainspotters.

148
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,040
His dedication to the craft
is extraordinary.

149
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,360
Mm.
He did a computer science course

150
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,400
at TAFE for this.
..authenticity.

151
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,240
That means I'll be in character
at all times, both on stage and off.

152
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,040
Yeah.
Alright? I wear his clothes.

153
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,280
I carry his laptop.
Mm-hm.

154
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,640
I feel his pain.
Yeah.

155
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,360
If I seem a little angry,

156
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,200
or sad,

157
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,760
it's only because I am in exile
in my heart.

158
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,640
Maybe we should lock Julian
in the cupboard and call it Ecuador.

159
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,400
(SHE LAUGHS)
(OTHERS GROAN)

160
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,240
Oh!
Jeez.

161
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,800
Right.
I have tracked down the number

162
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,400
for the assistant
to Caitlen's LA agent's assistant.

163
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,160
Major breakthrough, Jmac.

164
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,480
Let's call America.

165
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,640
OK.

166
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,320
(PHONE DIALS)

167
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,320
WOMAN ON PHONE: Hello?

168
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,880
Hello.
Julia McNamara calling,

169
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,560
CEO of the Argyle Theatre
in Melbourne, Australia.

170
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,240
(CALL HANGS UP)

171
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,600
Oh, that's rude.
They need a tariff on manners

172
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,600
over there.

173
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,160
What...what does that mean?

174
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,880
Because of rude and American.

175
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,520
Right. Sorry. Why does no one in
this place have Caitlen's number?

176
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,120
Didn't she used to do plays here?

177
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,960
Isn't she supposedly
Margie's sister?

178
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,080
Yeah.
I can't work out what's going on

179
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,840
with this dysfunctional family.

180
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,240
Do you need someone to explain
the family dynamic to you?

181
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,960
Could you?
Yes, I can.

182
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,200
I'm going to need a whiteboard.

183
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,840
Give me a minute.
You could have just told me.

184
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,360
And...

185
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,680
..there you go.
You're all signed up.

186
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,760
Oh, yeah. Great.

187
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:42,160
So anyone could just sign up to
as many accounts as they wanted to?

188
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,560
Like, you could just...

189
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,000
Anyone could just go,
"Oh, there we go. Another one"?

190
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,440
If you have an email address,

191
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,560
yeah, you could make thousands.

192
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,960
And this is the Argyle's page here?

193
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,640
Yeah. 140 followers.

194
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,480
Ooh. Wow. That is fantastic.

195
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,600
It's really shit.
Is it?

196
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,600
Yeah.
Yeah.

197
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,920
But wait till I get on there,
though.

198
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,640
It'll go through the roof.

199
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,760
Mm.

200
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,200
So Harmony is Jeremy's third wife.

201
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,920
Mm-hm.
Also Caitlen's mother.

202
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,920
You got it. This relationship.
Mm-hm...

203
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,800
..ended his relationship
with Margie's mother.

204
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,560
Or it was the other way around.
He was a bit of a pants man.

205
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,840
Who's this?
Oh, that's wifey number one.

206
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,400
That was only two years.
Two... How are their four children?

207
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,400
Glad you asked.

208
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,480
These three were steps
with her previous marriage.

209
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,680
Should I get another board?
Mm.

210
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:28,400
That's not a Barbara step. That's
Margie's half brother with Jennifer.

211
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,200
Oh, my God, you're right.
How does that work?

212
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,200
Here.

213
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,400
I can see a pattern emerging.
Gary?

214
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,000
No. Julian.

215
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,120
Keep at it.

216
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,200
Hello, Jane.

217
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,200
Phil, welcome.

218
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,840
(BELL RINGS)
Hello?

219
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,360
Hello, Lloyd.

220
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,080
MAN: Hello?

221
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,080
Hello?

222
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,480
(DINGS BELL MULTIPLE TIMES)

223
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:02,760
(SHE SCOWLS)

224
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:03,760
Where is everyone?

225
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,600
Alright, so, in summation,
Harmony is Caitlen's mum.

226
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,160
Caitlen was born in Paris.

227
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,560
Margy's mum is Jennifer.

228
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,080
Jeremy left Jennifer for Harmony.

229
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,360
That should clear everything up.

230
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,400
There was one in Barcelona.
No, there wasn't Donna.

231
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,320
No one's got a good word to say
about Harmony.

232
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,920
She left her wine
in my wig room once,

233
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,720
and I'm like, "Get your filthy
chardonnay away from Lady Macbeth".

234
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,720
Yeah, OK. Can we focus on Caitlen,
please?

235
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,960
Is she married?

236
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,280
Have you ever read a magazine.

237
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,000
Business Review Weekly?
Yeah. Every month.

238
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,160
There have been eight
reported proposals to Caitlen.

239
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,040
But they're all wasting her time.

240
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,480
She's married to her job.
Very relatable. Right?

241
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,480
Mm.

242
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,480
What?

243
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,040
(BELL RINGS)

244
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,280
Yes? Can I help you?

245
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,680
Caitlen Allard, eh?

246
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,440
Sign here.

247
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,560
That signature might
be worth something ome day.

248
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,560
You know she could sing?

249
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,000
(SHOUTS) Oh, why is everyone
obsessed with her?!

250
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,120
Well, if we're listing dalliances,
I suppose, you know,

251
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,240
couldn't hurt to...

252
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,360
..add one special night
up onto the board.

253
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,960
No biggie. Just...

254
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,240
Get over it!
Really? Christian?

255
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,160
We all know, Christian.

256
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,000
Oh, don't forget Caitlen
dated Hot Props back in their 20s.

257
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,960
Oh, my God!

258
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,200
That's right.
Hang on. Who's Hot Props?

259
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,240
Have you not been
down to sets and props yet?

260
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,760
Why would I go there?
Make sure you set aside a few hours.

261
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,400
Boring.
Sorry.

262
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,600
There's someone still working here,
who dated Caitlen,

263
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,600
called Hot Props?

264
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,160
MARGIE: (IN DISTANCE)
Anyone can go to Hollywood, anyone!

265
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,400
What is going on out there?
Have you been to drama school?!

266
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,600
I don't care.

267
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,080
(DISTANT SHOUTING CONTINUES)

268
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,400
I'm going to go find Hot Props,
see if he's got Caitlen's number.

269
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,160
Oh, no, no, Julia,
don't call him "Hot..."

270
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,840
Oh!
(TEARFULLY) You know, everyone thinks

271
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,320
she's perfect, but it was MY
Cabbage Patch doll, you know,

272
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,560
and she just took it!

273
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:40,920
Caitlen, you just took it,

274
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,840
you know?

275
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,000
And then she starts gaslighting me
about it!

276
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,360
And of course, Papa takes her side!

277
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,040
Always takes her side!

278
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:51,200
But it was MY name on
the birth certificate, you know?!

279
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,400
D-yeah, I know.

280
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,040
And why am I signing for couriers,
Christian?!

281
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,400
Sorry about that.
I'll be cleaning the toilets next!

282
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,760
You'd all love that, wouldn't you?!

283
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,360
Oh, no.
Scrubbing away?!

284
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,960
No, no, no.
Yeah, you will, you'd all love that!

285
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,320
No scrubbing, no scrubbing.

286
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,040
Nobody...
No scrubbing.

287
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,760
(SHE SCREAMS)
(SOFTLY) Sorry about that.

288
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,440
You alright?
You'd never catch Caitlen doing that.

289
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,960
No way. Absolutely not.

290
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,840
Hey, can I offer you
two free tickets

291
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,760
to a fantastic show
we have coming up

292
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,720
of La Paysanne a Moitie Enterre?

293
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,840
Nah.
No.

294
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,960
Hello?

295
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,880
Ah! Hot Props.

296
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,720
What? What did you call me?

297
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,800
Uh...

298
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,560
..they said your name
was H-Hot Props.

299
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:37,840
Who's been calling me that?

300
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,200
No one!

301
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,440
No!

302
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,240
I...misspoke.

303
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,160
They said, "The guy down there makes
hot props".

304
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,040
Well, my name is Pete,
and I'm part of the team.

305
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,400
Yes, you are, Pete.
You're a huge part of the team.

306
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,000
That's why I'm here to introduce
myself.

307
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,480
Julia McNamara,
new CEO of the Argyle Theatre.

308
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,880
Quick question - did you ever date
Caitlen Allard?

309
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,320
You're not in trouble.
It's not an HR issue.

310
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,320
No, I did, I did.
You did?

311
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,240
I did. I actually just started
working here when I met her.

312
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,360
Had you?
Yeah.

313
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,960
Interesting.
Where was I working before that?

314
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,960
I...don't know...
Oh! (HE CHUCKLES)

315
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,360
I was selling paintballing
in a supermarket.

316
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,360
Were you? OK.

317
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,000
Not paintballing
in the middle of supermarkets.

318
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,960
I was selling paintballing
in the middle of supermarkets.

319
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,960
Right. OK.
Wait. Hang on.

320
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,560
I just said the same thing again.

321
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,160
I was in the supermarket,
selling paintballing.

322
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,840
Selling paintballing...
Yeah.

323
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:20,920
..somewhere else.
Yeah.

324
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,520
So a little bit like a voucher.
Ah! Yes. I get that.

325
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,120
Yeah.
And are you still in touch?

326
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,160
Nope. They shut down.

327
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,720
With Caitlen Allard.
Oh, yeah. Right.

328
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,680
I might have her phone number.
That would be wonderful.

329
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,880
Let's have a look for that.

330
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,520
(SOFTLY) What's in that file?
Just work, I think.

331
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,040
At the end of the day,

332
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,000
it's the government
lying to the people.

333
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,040
Yeah.
I'll give you an example.

334
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,400
Gary has 38 outstanding
parking fines.

335
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,120
Uh, sorry. Who's Gary?

336
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,880
W-well, that's me
when I'm not being Julian.

337
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,480
Oh, sorry. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah.
But that's really the state

338
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,240
controlling his freedom of movement,

339
00:11:56,240 --> 00:12:00,080
and who really benefits from
the revenue raised by fines?

340
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,200
Big business?
Yeah. Now you're getting it.

341
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,600
Yeah.
Right. There you are. There you are.

342
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,240
I need your help to go viral.
Come on. Follow me.

343
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,120
(SOFTLY) Be careful.

344
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,160
It's the internet!

345
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:14,520
This is her.
That's my collie cross.

346
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,600
Do you like dogs?
Um...

347
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,960
..yeah. Sure.
Of course you do. Who doesn't?

348
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,520
She's about to jump off.

349
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,280
Quite a long video.
Shall we go to the end?

350
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,040
No, no, no.
Just feel like if we just went...

351
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,000
Oh!

352
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,960
Just made it go back into Photos.

353
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,840
Maybe check in Contacts for it?

354
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,280
(HE LAUGHS) For my dog?!

355
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,040
For Caitlen Allard

356
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,760
that you used to date.
(HE CHUCKLES)

357
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,320
I'm so sorry. That's right.

358
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,520
I think Contacts...

359
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,920
Contacts. Thank you.

360
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,640
No, I don't have it.

361
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,640
Ah.
I don't have it.

362
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,320
New phone. Maybe. Maybe.
Maybe, I don't know.

363
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,440
It might be a problem
with the cloud.

364
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:52,800
I'm just saying,

365
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:53,800
it's lucky he's hot,

366
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,320
because I have never met anyone
so boring, and I worked in a bank.

367
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,560
Really? Boring?

368
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,240
I mean, I won't deny
he's a smokeshow,

369
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,120
but you didn't call him Hot Props
to his face, did you?

370
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,880
Yes, I did. Thank you
for the warning on that.

371
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,280
(HE SIGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)

372
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:07,880
What's this?

373
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,320
God, we're getting a lot of activity
on the socials today.

374
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,320
Really? What's going on?

375
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,520
A lot of people are very interested
in Margie playing the lead role

376
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,280
in...

377
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,880
Actually,
let's not bother reading those.

378
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,320
It's all brain rot online, isn't it?
It's all nonsense.

379
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,320
(HE SCOFFS)
What?

380
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,960
I wouldn't even b...
I wouldn't even... Don't...

381
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,880
I can't believe you called Hot Props
Hot Props to his face.

382
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,120
You're crazy! What are you like?
Do you touch my phone like that.

383
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,120
What are you...?

384
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,160
What are you...?
(PHONE BANGS)

385
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,560
Wow!
Oh!

386
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,360
That's a game we play.
It's called Phone Frisbee,

387
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,400
and it's normal that I did that.

388
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,080
Oh, I see.

389
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,680
These are about me.

390
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:45,520
"New CEO looks like a neo-liberal
wet dream,

391
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,240
"featuring Margaret Court".

392
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,440
Oh, ah, pff...

393
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,720
Banktard?

394
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:50,840
You can't say that.
What is a...?

395
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,520
You can't say that any more.

396
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,280
"The lost Kransky sister".

397
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,000
"Garth from Wayne's World"?
Classic movie.

398
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,360
Schwing!

399
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,800
Sorry.
You need to find out who's posting

400
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,880
these comments.
Yeah, I will, I will.

401
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,960
Just, I don't know,
call Instagram.

402
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,880
OK, so when I do a thumbs up,
it means we're live.

403
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,280
Live. On what?

404
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,360
Just socials. Everything.

405
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,800
Like, everywhere?
Yeah. People can just join.

406
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,560
We're just live, so people can join.
Oh, right, yes.

407
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:18,560
Yeah, a podcast.
Yeah.

408
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,160
OK, then let's do it.

409
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,600
So...
Mm-hm.

410
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:24,520
Thumbs up.
Yeah. So that means we're live.

411
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,720
Oh!
So they've seen that.

412
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:26,960
Here we go!

413
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,880
4, 3, 2, 1.

414
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,640
Not needed. It's already rolling.

415
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,560
We've been live for 15 seconds.

416
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,720
Hi! I'm,
I'm Margie Argyle,

417
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,960
and I'm the artistic director here
at the Argyle Theatre.

418
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,320
But I'm also a storyteller.

419
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,760
Y'know? I'm a truth custodian.

420
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,240
I'm a disrupter. I'm a feminist.
I'm a witch.

421
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,120
I'm a woman. Yeah.

422
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,160
OK, let's go and see what
the Argyle team is up to!

423
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,040
Let's go. Ooh.

424
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,880
Is that close?
Nah. You're good.

425
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,320
Let's continue our tour.

426
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,880
We are in the creative heart
of the building here.

427
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,200
Who's feeling it today? Whoa.
Energy is up in here.

428
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,280
If anyone feels like they just want
to get up and...

429
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,600
do a 30-second dance party.

430
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,920
You know, I just say to people
in this space,

431
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,600
you know, like,
if you've got an idea,

432
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,640
just go with it, you know?
Follow the creative flow.

433
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,560
(SHE SINGS)

434
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,560
Whoa!

435
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,920


436
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,240


437
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,800
(OTHERS JOIN IN HALF-HEARTEDLY)

438
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,560


439
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,040


440
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,840
Oh, OK.

441
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:41,280
Little dance party, uh?


442
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,800
Hey, it's Julie McNamara,
our new CEO.

443
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,440
Hello.
(BLUESILY)

444
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,840
Hey, hey.
Come on!

445
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,280
Why don't you go here?


446
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,600



447
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:52,840
And I'll come in...

448
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,880



449
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,240

No, I don't want to do that.

450
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,520
Yep. Really good for
your fun loving reputation, Mum.

451
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,680
Ruined.
Well, speaking of that,

452
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,640
who has been posting about me
on the Argyle socials account?

453
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,880
Was it you, Ryan?

454
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,680
What? Me?! No!
I just helped Margie get online,

455
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,640
that's all.
Well, Christian will be

456
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,640
looking into it,
and we will find the troll.

457
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,400
Don't know how to find trolls, but,
yeah, add that to my list.

458
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,920
Everybody is under scrutiny.
Don't film me.

459
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,360
No, put it up, 'cause you can't
stop me putting stuff online.

460
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,880
I think that's something we can
all learn from the Assange story

461
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,200
this week, that everyone should
go online and make content,

462
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,080
and authorities can't come in

463
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,520
and control the...internet

464
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,280
for...who wants to go on there.

465
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,040
That's exactly right.

466
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,160
Come on, Ryan, let's go.

467
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,640
Let's go see...


468
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,000
(HE BEATBOXES)
No no.

469
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,400
Me. This.

470
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,200

wigs and wardrobe...

471
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,760
(KEYBOARD CLACKS)

472
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,920
Hello.
(SOFTLY) Hi, Gary.

473
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,440
Julian.
Yeah, sorry, Julian.

474
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,880
(SOFTLY) Hey,

475
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,960
do you ever get the feeling
you're being watched?

476
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,720
No.

477
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,000
Not really.

478
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,320
Anyway,

479
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,440
someone in this office
is not being honest,

480
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,640
and I've been given
the responsibility

481
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,160
to find out who it is.

482
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,000
So tell me, Gary...
Julian.

483
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,760
Yeah. Sorry.

484
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,160
Do you know anything about hacking?

485
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,880
OK, so...
So we're going like this...

486
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,320
Yeah.
..and then we throw it up.

487
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,480
OK.
Wrong arm.

488
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,000
Mm-hm.
Throw it up again.

489
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,720
Up! That was the same arm.
Mm-hm.

490
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,760
OK. Uh, I actually wanted
to ask you something.

491
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,560
You weren't the one trolling Mum,
right?

492
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,440
No! Of course not.

493
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,800
'Cause I know she's annoying,

494
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,400
but she's not, like,
a bad person or anything.

495
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,640
Well, I guess the truth
always comes out online, doesn't it?

496
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,040
Come on, let's record this.

497
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,240
Let's go. Let's go viral.
We've got this.

498
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,440
Yeah. We do.
(PHONE BEEPS)

499
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,440
Yeah.
Remember??

500
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,080
Let's go.
Alright.

501
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,440
Up!

502
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,680
Nice. OK.

503
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,320
Shall we go from the top?

504
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,600
Oh, you're still going to go? OK.

505
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,800
Sorry,
what are you doing at my computer?

506
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:08,240
Just a bit of classified work.
Classified work? Why? About what?

507
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,080
Oh, come on, Gary.
Julian!

508
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,000
You can tell me.
We've known each other for years.

509
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,800
Remember that night in Adelaide?

510
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,440
Gary's never been to Adelaide.

511
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,720
Oh, that's right, 'cause Gary
was married back then, wasn't he?

512
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,160
Look, all I'll say
is somebody's going to be exposed.

513
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,760
I've got what I need.

514
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,280
How did you know my password?

515
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,280
It was "Password".

516
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,960
Yeah. It's "Password".

517
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,720
I've got to change that.

518
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,000
I'll change it to "Margie".

519
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,160
Alright.
So I've called this snap meeting

520
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,840
because there's been a dramatic
increase of online activity

521
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,760
on the Argyle socials.

522
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,080
Ordinarily,
that would be a good thing,

523
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,800
but it's actually raised
quite a lot of suspicions,

524
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,480
'cause we, we don't normally get
any activity there.

525
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,480
So I'm going to hand over
to Gary now.

526
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,560
ALL: Julian.

527
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,040
Julian!
For the 11th time.

528
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,120
Well, the alarm bells were first
raised when I found these posts,

529
00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:59,880
under this image

530
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,400
of Margie,
in the lead role of the peasant.

531
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,920
Let's take a look.

532
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,640
"Margie Argyle?!
I've been a long time fan

533
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,040
"and finally, it's her,

534
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,880
"not Caitlen".
Wow!

535
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,880
(SOFTLY) That's nice.

536
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,880
"OMG, can't wait for this!

537
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,480
"Margie Argyle
is a quadruple threat".

538
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,040
Spot on.

539
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,040
Thanks!

540
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,120
"Margie Argyle?
She's an artistic genius!"

541
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,480
Oh, my God.
Oh, no, Margie.

542
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,840
And finally,

543
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,800
"Big Name Brand..."
No, not that one.

544
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,800
"Margie Argyle is a good singer.

545
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,840
"NOT Caitlen".

546
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,960
It quickly became clear
that the posts were coming

547
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
from inside this very building,

548
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,240
and after some rudimentary hacking,

549
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,440
I am now able to reveal the identity
of the person doing the post.

550
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,600
Oh, shut up, Gary!
It's Julian,

551
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,120
and let the man speak.
The truth must prevail, remember?

552
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,600
But what am I supposed to do?

553
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,440
You know, why should Caitlen get to
come in here

554
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,200
and take everything away
from me again?

555
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,720
I'm a big name, too!

556
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:55,440
Sweetheart.

557
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:58,480
OK. I think the board will agree
that this is a fireable offence.

558
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,160
Maybe. But what's more alarming
is the evidence of

559
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,640
hours and hours

560
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,240
of company time

561
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,200
being spent on a website called,

562
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,440
Pulse 54.

563
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,080
Oh, no, Mum...
Huh? What is that?

564
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,600
Alright, shut up, Gary.

565
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,360
It's Julian.
So embarrassing.

566
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,560
(PHONE BUZZES)
No.

567
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,440
This is important information that
needs to be exposed to the board

568
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,880
at all costs,

569
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,480
and you'll both be named
in my report.

570
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,520
Oh, my God!

571
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,240
What have you guys done?!

572
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,080
I've got every conspiracy theory
loon on the phone.

573
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,960
One of the videos you two made
went viral.

574
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,640
Oh, that's good. Well done.
That's great.

575
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,640
Yeah.
Awesome.

576
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,440
The buzz is building
for La Paysanne a Moitie Enterre.

577
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,880
It's great.
It's not that.

578
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,560
Gary's in the background
of the video,

579
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,760
and everyone in the comments

580
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,240
thinks Julian Assange is hiding out
at the theatre.

581
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,920
Oh, Jesus.
There's a bunch of media people

582
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,280
outside.

583
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,400
Oh. Show me the video.

584
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,360
Here. (HE CLEARS HIS THROAT)

585
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,680
Exhibit A.
Oh!

586
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,000
Mm? Yeah.

587
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,480
Boom. Yeah. That's good.

588
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,160
Looks great, to me.
Yeah. Thank you.

589
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,800
"Hashtag this is what a feminist
does?"

590
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,720
Sorry. What's this got to do
with feminism?

591
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,720
Oh, I'm moving my body,
and I look hot,

592
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,520
and there's nothing any man
could do about it.

593
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,280
There's a man right there
in the video.

594
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,240
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh.

595
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,040
There. Who's that?
Oh, Jesus.

596
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,320
It's a good promo, though.
Yeah.

597
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,960
No, it isn't. He just said
conspiracy nuts are watching this.

598
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,960
What do we want?
A theatre full of flat-Earthers?

599
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,680
Well, they deserve art, too.
Oh, Margie, come on.

600
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,840
Well, just delete it!

601
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,760
Come on, Ryan, press delete.
Let's all move on. Done.

602
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,160
You can't delete videos from the
internet any more, Margie.

603
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,800
You've already been memed.
You're a meme.

604
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,680
Well, thank you.
I've got to keep him out of sight.

605
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,160
Julian! This way.

606
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,640
I didn't do the ones about
your glasses, by the way.

607
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,360
I don't believe you.
It wasn't me!

608
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,480
It's just actual feedback
about your glasses.

609
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:39,960
Just take it on board, Mum.

610
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,640
You know,
Gary's becoming a bit of a problem.

611
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,520
I think he actually
thinks he's Assange.

612
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,600
He's lost the plot.

613
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,160
Do you know he
has 38 outstanding parking fines?

614
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,200
Does he?
Does he?

615
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,240
Wow.
That's a lot.

616
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,320
Gee, it'd be terrible
if someone called the police.

617
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,720
Yeah.

618
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,320
Would be terrible.

619
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,280
Look,
I know this implicates both of you,

620
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,200
but I need to give this information
to the board.

621
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:03,200
I mean, can't you see?
Mm.

622
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,200
Even if it costs me everything.
Mm.

623
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,640
Whatever you think is the right
thing to do, you do it, Julian.

624
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,320
You've gotta do it.
I mean, you just have to...

625
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,000
What the hell is this?
Gary Strand?

626
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,880
No, it's Julian.
BOTH: Oh, no!

627
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,800
I don't think so, mate. Look, you've
got 38 outstanding parking fines,

628
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,280
OK? You mind coming with us,
please, sir?

629
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,880
What? No!
They're trying to silence me.

630
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,040
No, you've just got to stop parking
on Gertrude Street, mate.

631
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,200
Oh, Gary...
Hey! Gary!

632
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,480
Who called the police? Who was it?!
BOTH: Oh, I don't know.

633
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,600
I don't know.

634
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,800
Somebody needs to leak
that document to the board.

635
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,680
Yeah,
I'll make sure Carmel gets that.

636
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,080
Deep state corruption.
That's what this is.

637
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:35,920
Good luck locking ME up.

638
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,520
Do you want to pop
that in the shredder, darling?

639
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,760
Thank you.
Thank you.

640
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,000
So apparently he broke bail,

641
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,480
and now Gary's in Ballarat,
hiding in his ex-wife's house.

642
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,280
He's worried if he comes back
to Melbourne, they'll capture him.

643
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,520
Why doesn't he just download
a parking app?

644
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,080
OK, gang.
After the Gary news story,

645
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,400
we've finally sold enough tickets
in the small theatre

646
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,000
to - wait for it -

647
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,320
break even!
Oh, snap!

648
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,240
Yes! Tonight's already sold out.
It's amazing.

649
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,240
Yeah, the show must go on.

650
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,960
I'm just glad all that social media
stuff is behind us, you know?

651
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,560
I just feel like it promotes
a distorted view of reality

652
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,640
and comparison culture.

653
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,960
I don't want anything more
to do with it.

654
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,880
Oh, my gosh, Margie, our dancing
video we did got 3 million likes.

655
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,480
Are you joking me?!
No! Look at this!

656
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,640
Show me!
Way more than Caitlen's ever got!

657
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,800
Show me.

658
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,400
Oh! Suck shit, bitch!

659
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,640
Sorry.

660
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,960
Hope she's seen it.
Oh, Caitlen's seen it.

661
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,480
Everyone's seen it.

662
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,200
Caitlen's agent has even seen it.

663
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,480
How do I know?
Just had her on the phone.

664
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,400
What?
The theatre's got huge buzz now,

665
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,400
so Caitlen wants to talk about doing
her show right here at the Argyle,

666
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,920
and that's all thanks to you,
Margie. Well done.

667
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,720
Round of applause for Margie.

668
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,720
Come on.
(APPLAUSE)

669
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:47,720
Artistic genius.

670
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,600
(MUSIC PLAYS)

671
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,160
Aren't you just a little bit curious
about what my audition is?

672
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,320
Oh! The audition.

673
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,800
Everyone wants this role,
you know?

674
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,240
I'm talking Nicole, Blanchett,
everyone.

675
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,080
This is an anti-nepotism policy.

676
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,760
Oh, she's nepo.
No, not nepo.

677
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,480
Sounds nepo.
It's not nepo.

678
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,160
What are you doing?
Security upgrade.

679
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,320
Margie, I'm locked in.
Ow! Why is it hot?

680
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,320
Jesus.
Oh, my God!

681
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,320
Christian, we're locked in!
What's going on?

682
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,000
Margie and Julia are trapped
in the prop cupboard.

683
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,440
I don't actually know where I am!

684
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,200
I don't know where I am!
Donna!

685
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,280
Julia! Julia!

686
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,280
Captions by Red Bee Media

687
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,280
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation